40
view . spring 2013
In 2009, a terminal diagnosis united three women
and changed their lives forever.
When Jennifer Fazakerley learned that Rob, her
43-year-old husband of three years, had cancer of the
pancreas, she left her job and became his primary caregiver
for whatever short period they had left together.
UWindsor graduate Grace Bradish BA ’77, BScN ’77,
a home visiting nurse practitioner at the Community Care
Access Centre in London, Ont., co-ordinated Rob’s care
and educated the couple on chemotherapy expectations.
Weeks after the diagnosis, Bradish travelled to the
Fazakerley home to speak to the couple and direct them
to other branches of support. She was struck by their
openness and raw honesty.
“Not every case touches you like this,” says Bradish.
“They were both so new in their love and relationship. I
knew this was going to be a powerful journey.”
After her initial visit, Bradish contacted Helen Butlin-
Battler, a spiritual care specialist with the London Regional
Cancer Program. Both women were compelled by the
couple’s story, becoming close to them over time.
When Rob passed away in 2012 at the age of 46,
Jennifer Fazakerley, Bradish and Butlin-Battler made the
decision to share their experiences in
Just Stay: A Couple’s
Last Journey Together.
In the form of storytelling,
Just Stay
provides a different
perspective on receiving a terminal diagnosis. In first
person, each author reflects on the valuable life lessons a
deadly diagnosis can give.
“[Rob and Jen] never once deluded themselves into
thinking that treatment would mean the disease would go
away,” says Bradish. “There was never any pretending, but
there was always hope.”
The book first took shape when the three women sat
down together after Rob’s death, connecting individual
reflections and their experiences. Collections of emails
exchanged between Jen and Grace throughout his care
spoke of the tremendous learning experience each person
had realized.
According to Bradish, the book began as “a reflection
of communications between formal and informal care
providers.” As the stories and memories flowed, what
started as a form of reflection between the three women
soon became motivation.
“There was a collective decision that others should
share in this journey,” says Bradish. “We’re all different
women but there was a united commitment.”
As a nurse practitioner, Bradish believes that this story
will impact a great number of people, particularly those in
the health care profession.
Just Stay
aims to provide patient
and medic alike with hope and the realization that there is
a different way to approaching life with cancer. In the book,
Bradish speaks more about taking a leadership role and
making healthcare patient-centered and family focused.
“With a terminal diagnosis, it’s not rocket science,”
explains Bradish, who has spent 30 years in the
nursing profession. “It’s about availability and listening,
accessibility, and presence. It really is about being present
with the patient.”
In the book, Bradish emphasizes the electronic medium
and how it can provide tremendous support and facilitate a
respectful and quiet relationship with the patient. A unique
aspect of the book is the inclusion of some of the emails
shared. Bradish believes that the constant communication
between her and the other women helped ease the
emotional burden. “Presence, even electronically, goes a
long way to support a client,” she says.
Bradish adds that the most powerful lesson in
Just Stay
is the power of hope, faith, and love in a family living with
terminal illness.
“Something we mention in the book is that Rob never
said he was ‘battling’ cancer,” Bradish explains. “‘The gift
of a terminal illness’… that’s how they approached this
catastrophic event in their lives. Jen put aside her work for
over a year, focused on Rob and her family, and they spent
more time together. They viewed this as a gift.”
n
v
Jenna Bontorin is a second-year student in Digital Journalism.
BY JENNA BONTORIN
A Couple’s Last Journey Together
JUST STAY
CAMPUS AUTHORS
