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Four
by Joan Hackett
The white plaster goose is the fashion plate of the lawn ornament set. Unlike the old Mother Goose, swathed in her one-and-only shapeless gingham gown, the geese of the "nineties" are tres chic! Right now they are modelling the Spring Collection: a dazzling floor-length yellow ensemble catches the eye; more daring is a hot pink mini worn well above the knee and a conservative calf-length multicolored polka dot print brightens the landscape. Last winter velvet coats trimmed with ermine were all the rage. In the summer pink-rimmed glasses with blue lenses, revealing bikinis, braided pigtails and jaunty straw hats were de rigueur. At Christmas a Santa outfit is a must. Halloween spawns grotesque goose ghosts and witches.
These creations are custom-made for milady's unusual figure. A coat or dress is a bib-like arrangement tied to her neck. It hangs straight down in front, flares out over part of her broad back leaving her ample derriŠre exposed to the elements. The bikini skirt is tied around her belly, the scanty bra fastened to her breastless chest.
In spite of all this finery designed especially for them, some geese are not clothes conscious. They stand boldly on their lawns or front stoops as naked as jaybirds! Jaybirds?"
SUNDAY, AUGUST THE FOURTH AT 3 P.M.
The venue: 4240 Riverside Drive East.
Please Bring : same as in previous years: salad, wine or dessert.
Cost: $3 or $4 p.p. to cover hot dogs, sausages, coffee, clean-up.